Wow, I was challenged today at work. I mean, I'm really struggling with this one.
I received an email from a supervisor in our organization asking if bereavement leave could be used for an employee who recently miscarried. (For those not familiar with bereavement leave, it is time off that some companies provide after the loss of a family member.) As the leave of absence administrator for the hospital, I should be able to make that call. However, where do I draw the line between my personal beliefs and how the professional organization would handle such issues?
I thought it best to forward the issue to a Director within Human Resources whom I have worked closely with in the past and think very highly of. She just called me and said, "Yes, we've been working extensively on this case... what do you think?"
What do I think? "I think this woman just lost a child..." (and should be granted time off work!!)
She continues, "So, at what point do we count that? I mean, a viable pregnancy, when a baby could be delivered, is 22 weeks..."
I hesitated, "Right, but she was pregnant, I mean, she was with child, so..."
She went on, "Right, and I have been through this myself many years ago, and while there was a recovery process after the DNC, it was mostly physical and psychological recovery..." Um, did you not mourn your loss?
I urged, "I agree, so while she could use her sick leave and paid time off, she DID just lose a child, right?"
I fear I'm not being strong enough here.
She said, "Well, I'll pull you back in on this, we'll see what some other folks think too." Valid point. I get that. I mean, at the end of the day we do have a business to run. But part of me also does not understand why this is even a question!
She is going to set up a meeting on Monday with the hospital's chaplain. Maybe God's light can shine through this situation afterall.
I'll keep you posted.
8 comments:
wow! That's crazy. I have never thought of that before. I am glad you stuck with your guns. Losing a child is losing a child. It all hurts and bereavement leave should be granted, I mean why not? She was pregnant with a child and that child passed away. As far as the business aspect, there should just be a limit to the time granted. That's just my 2 cents :)
I will pray about this for her sake and yours.
Love,
Lauren
Hang tough Abbs... I'll be praying for you. I thankfully work for a company that was really understanding when I lost my first pregnancy. No questions asked, take all the time you need, etc and so forth... I hate that the 'viable' word even came into the conversation, try telling that to the poor lady who lost the baby. Viable or not the emotions are the same, and the baby was still a baby. Please let us know how it turns out... and if I need to come to your office and have a 'talk' with anyone... trust me, it'll be the last talk they need :-)
Wow, talk about being stuck in the middle of a sensitive conflict. I agree with you 100%, and I'm really glad you spoke your two cents on it. I'd be interested to hear what decision they come to. I suppose that's one of those situations I've never really thought about before. The challanges of living in a secular world...
I agree...if the woman needs time off, she should get time off. I don't think she should have to use "vacation" (believe me, it's NOT a vacation) and while she could use "sick" leave - I think it best qualifies as bereavement. There is physical recovery, emotional recovery and spiritual recovery. veryone deal differently and if she is asking for it, she needs it! I pray she gets this...she'll be a better employee for it if she is allowed to take time off without worry and get through this dark time in her life. Praying for all making this decision. Stand firm!
I miscarried at 7 weeks few days back. I took a few days off to cope with the physical and emotional pain.
I have requested that those days off be treated as Bereavement Leave. Still waiting to hear back. I know I can't compare my situation to someone who was further along in the pregnancy. Nonetheless, the loss still takes a toll on your body and mind. Wish no one had to go through this ever!
A woman with miscarriage not only has to deal with the loss of her own child inside her body for whatever weeks...she will still need to deal with her partner/husband, or even family members because of the loss. I believe the pain of losing her own baby means more than anyone else in the world. Sorry if anyone gets offended, this is just my opinion b/c I just experienced my miscarriage today. I was praying that if the baby will be fine, I don't even mind losing my own life. This is a big issue that there should be laws passed to protect women with miscarriage to have to right to use their bereavement.
I think probably the boss in here is a male? Just guessing. I think men will never understand how painful it is for a woman to experience miscarriage.
oops, didn't realize that it's also a woman...sorry. I guess everyone is different!
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